I MARRIED MYSELF
I married myself as a commitment to take responsibility for my own happiness. After all, the more you deal with your own shit, the less others have to, right?
I still embrace romantic love and fully support couples, weddings and marriage. I just believe that self love should be equally important. In fact, when you have a partner and kids you’re more likely to neglect yourself as you spend a lot of time channelling your energy into your family.
Some people question why it’s necessary to make such a grand gesture. Well, in our society there’s a lot of stigma around being a single person – you’re often treated as though you’re sad, incomplete and not-yet-grown-up. Unlike other cultures, we don’t have a ritual to mark our development as an individual and so, in the absence of such a ceremony, I decided to borrow from the format of a wedding.
Being a sologamist is honestly so rewarding. If I have a bad day, I often find myself returning to my self love vows – to accept my failures, embrace my dreams and be my own best friend. It is, of course, not always so easy but I’ve realised that if love starts with you, there really is no limit to it; it’s a glorious energy that just keeps marching on!
IN THE MEDIA
I’ve done a bunch of interviews about marrying myself – making This Morning‘s Eamonn Holmes choke was definitely a highlight, hehe! Here are some of my faves:
My Sologamy Flashmob
How do I love me? Let me count the ways…
‘Self love’ has become a bit of a consumerist buzz word, with many brands jumping on the bandwagon and trying to sell you pamper products. Sure, it’s a great idea to take time out – to have a hot bath, a glass of vino and slap on a face mask – but there’s a bit more to it than that. For me, these are the key focuses for self love:
- Awareness – self care is about paying attention to what is going on in your body and mind, it is about noticing your individual responses to your environment.
- Acceptance – we all make mistakes and disappoint others and we will continue doing it as long as we live, every time we fail we learn how to improve.
- Compassion – kindness starts with the self, if you are able to forgive yourself and have your own best interests at heart then it will help you understand others.
- Presence – our disposable culture is so fast-paced and over-stimulated, don’t allow pressure to become stress, focus on each moment and enjoy an ease of being.
- Gratitude – you will never be happy if you’re constantly seeking a better life, appreciate the true value of what you have and just how magnificent the world around you is.
“All friendly feelings for others are an extension of man’s feelings for himself.”
Aristotle
NOVEL
About the book
After breaking up with the love of her life, Chloe’s friends tell her she needs to get back out there, and find another man before it’s too late. But after a particularly disastrous date and one too many gins, Chloe has a revelation – she doesn’t need a man to make her happy. It’s up to her to do it herself.
Never one to do things by halves, Chloe decides to make the ultimate commitment to self-love – she’ll marry herself! But planning a solo wedding isn’t easy, and soon Chloe finds herself on a bumpy journey of self-discovery. Will she finally get her happy ever after?