Sologamy

Yep, I’m that gal. The one who married herself.

I know, I know, it might seem a little outlandish. But, trust me, there is method to my madness.

MY BIG FAT SELF-WEDDING!

Self wedding

I MARRIED MYSELF

I chose to marry myself as a commitment to be responsible for my own happiness. If you nurture the relationship you have with yourself, it should benefit all of your relationships in life. After all, the more you deal with your own crap, the less others have to, right?

I still embrace romantic love and I’m not against weddings, marriage or couples at all. I just think that self love should be equally as important. This applies to everyone, regardless of your relationship status. In fact, when you have a partner and kids you’re even more likely to neglect yourself as you spend a lot of time channelling your energy into your family.

Some people question why it’s necessary to make such a grand gesture. Well, in our society there’s still a lot of stigma around being a single person – you’re often treated as though you’re sad, incomplete and not-yet-grown-up. Unlike other cultures, we don’t have a ritual to mark our development as an individual and so, in the absence of such a ceremony, I decided to borrow from the format of a wedding.

Being a sologamist has honestly been so rewarding. If I have a bad day, I often find myself returning to my self-love vows; to face my disappointments, accept my failures and embrace my dreams. It is, of course, not always so easy – but I’ve learned that if you believe in yourself then others will too. And I’ve realised that if love starts with you, there really is no limit to it; it is a glorious energy that just keeps marching on!

My Sologamy Flashmob

How do I love me? Let me count the ways…

‘Self love’ might be a bit of a buzz word, with various brands jumping on the wagon and trying to sell you pamper products. Sure, it’s a great idea to take time out – to have a hot bath, a glass of vino and slap on a face mask – but there’s a bit more to it than that. I believe these are the key focuses for self love:

  1. Awareness – self care is about paying attention to what is going on in your body and mind, it is about noticing your individual responses to your environment.
  2. Acceptance – we all make mistakes and disappoint others and we will continue doing it as long as we live, every time we fail we learn how to improve.
  3. Compassion – kindness starts with the self, if you are able to forgive yourself and have your own best interests at heart then it will help you understand others.
  4. Presence – our disposable culture is so fast-paced and over-stimulated, don’t allow pressure to become stress, focus on each moment and enjoy an ease of being.
  5. Gratitude – you will never be happy if you’re constantly seeking a better life, appreciate the true value of what you have and just how magnificent the world around you is.

“All friendly feelings for others are an extension of man’s feelings for himself.”

Aristotle

Reader I Married Me book cover

NOVEL

About the book

After breaking up with the love of her life, Chloe’s friends tell her she needs to get back out there, and find another man before it’s too late. But after a particularly disastrous date and one too many gins, Chloe has a revelation – she doesn’t need a man to make her happy. It’s up to her to do it herself.

Never one to do things by halves, Chloe decides to make the ultimate commitment to self-love – she’ll marry herself! But planning a solo wedding isn’t easy, and soon Chloe finds herself on a bumpy journey of self-discovery. Will she finally get her happy ever after?

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